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Living in the Moment
Growth is something that happens by the side.
You meditate, you sing, you dance, you rejoice, and suddenly, one day you will find those two leaves of the mango are growing above the ground - so fresh, so beautiful. Growth is a finding on the margin; you cannot make it a goal. That's what is making you so upset, impatient, and irritable! You have made growing up your goal. Now what can you do? Get stretched on a traction machine?
"When will we all come to the responsibility of just being the You in us: that gracefulness that we all know ourselves to be?" Any question about when shows that you have not understood my emphasis on the present moment; you have not understood my approach of here and now. Enjoy this moment, and forget the lot! And growth will come suddenly one day, not as a reward, but as a shadow of your living moment-to-moment, joyously.
"When" always takes you into the future, it always thinks of tomorrows. And the basic spiritual insight of thousands of years is that tomorrow never comes. This very moment will become another moment, your today will continue to remain today, the tomorrow will come in the form of today. But our whole system of thought is goal-oriented. We are always living in the future, and nobody can live in the future; or we are living in the past, and nobody can live in the past either.
The only way to live is to enjoy this moment, to cherish this moment, to make it as beautiful as possible. And out of this moment will come the next moment, out of this moment will come your whole future. This moment contains the whole eternity - past and future.
You are saying, "I feel that the time is ripe to stop whining about misery, and misunderstandings, pain, and discomforts. Could it be that as a disciple, I simply take You, Your presence, Your answers, Your insights, and Your grace for granted?"
Do you really feel, Satyadharma, that "the time is ripe to stop whining about misery, and misunderstandings"? And what are you doing in your question? What is this about being "upset, impatient, and irritable," and "when will I grow up"? If it is not whining about misery, and pain, and discomforts, then what is it? You have not felt that the time is ripe - you have only thought. Thinking is of no help. Thinking is a cheat. It talks great things, it gives you big promises, but the goods are never delivered.
Remember a clear-cut distinction between thinking and feeling: those who are feeling "the time is ripe" are not whining about any misery. They are enjoying the ripe time, and by enjoying, they are making it riper.
Of course, it is true - at least about you - that you have started taking my presence for granted. That is the natural habit of the mind. It starts taking for granted things which it will repent only when it has lost them.
There is a beautiful Sufi story.... A very rich man, super-rich, became bored with life because he had known all the pleasures, all the joys that money can purchase, but they were not truly satisfying. He was still thirsty, he was still hungry for something authentic. He was enquiring from sages and saints, and all that they could say... he had tried their rituals, worship, prayer and nothing worked.
One saint out of desperation... because this man was torturing him continually again and again about his misery - "Time is passing, life is limited, and what kind of saint are you? You cannot show me the right path. And I have twenty-four hours to devote to it; I don't have to work to earn money or anything, I don't have children, and I have earned so much money that it is enough for ten lives at least." The saint sent him to a Sufi master who was thought to be a little bit insane, and to whom many sages were sending their disciples when they wanted to get rid of them. But that insane Sufi master only looked insane; he had a super-sanity.
The rich man took a big bag, filled it with diamonds and rubies and emeralds and sapphires; and went to the Sufi who was sitting under a tree. He told the Sufi his whole story... that he was very miserable, he had everything that the world can afford. "I have brought, just to give you a proof, this whole bag worth millions. All I need is peace of mind." The Sufi said, "I will give it to you. Get ready!" The rich man thought, "This man seems to be strange. I have been to so many saints - nobody was so quick, and nobody promised to give it to me. They all said, `Go through this ritual, this worship, this prayer, this meditation. Work it out yourself.' This is the only man... perhaps, they are right that he is insane. He is saying, `Get ready. Don't waste my time!' "So hesitatingly he said, "Okay, I'm ready." But he was very afraid - although he had come to get peace of mind. And when the man said he was ready, the Sufi master took hold of his bag, and ran.
It was a small village with small streets with which the Sufi was perfectly acquainted. And the rich man had never run. He ran behind the Sufi master shouting, "I have been cheated! This man is not a sage. He's not insane, he's very cunning." But he could not get hold of the Sufi because he was going so fast and taking so many turns in the village. The old man was fat - huffing, puffing, perspiring, crying - and the whole crowd was laughing. He could not understand why these people were laughing, and nobody was helping! But the village knew that that man was not insane - he was super-sane. He had his own methods.
Finally, the rich man reached to the same tree. The Sufi had reached far ahead; he was sitting with the bag there. And the rich man was shouting, abusing. The Sufi said, "Stop all this nonsense! Take this bag." The man took the bag immediately, and the Sufi asked, "How are you feeling?" He said, "I'm feeling great peace." The Sufi said, "That's what I was telling you. If you are ready, I can give you peace immediately. Have you got it?" He said, "I have got it!"
"Never again ask anybody about it!" You have started taking for granted all your riches. I gave you a chance to lose them, and suddenly you became what you really are - a beggar. And these very precious stones which have lost their value to you are again precious." But it happens. The people who live in palaces start taking those palaces for granted; the people who are rich never think about the miseries of poverty. The people who have got a master start taking him for granted - that there is nothing to be done; you only have to ask the question and your master is there to answer it.
But my answers cannot be of any help.
I can show you the way, but I cannot walk for you.