Current (12/7/15) president of University of Science and Philosophy. Musician, videographer, married.
When I died in 2006, my life changed forever.
I was depressed. Nothing mattered anymore. I wanted out. The world was sick and I couldn’t find a place in it. My research and humanity’s darkness had led me to an impasse. I could not stop the evil in this world, not even so much as affect it one bit. My heart was broken, seemingly beyond repair. I was lost. I couldn’t do this anymore. I drank, and drank and drank even more. I stopped breathing and that was it. I was dead.
The next thing I saw was a stone circle, similar to Stonehenge. The black dark deep and mist surrounded the stones. They were gray, cold and silent. I stood in the center of these 12 ominous stones. The stones became the figures of animal heads. One of them began to speak. “What is this one doing here?” it asked the others. “We’ve put a lot of time into this one,” another spoke. “He’s not supposed to be here” another said. The others mumbled amongst themselves, agreeing with the question and this went on for a few minutes as they seemed to interrogate my presence as an infraction against their cold court. I found myself on trial. I shouted at my inquisitor, “I’m here and I am NOT going back to that fucking place!”
At that point, the animal heads and stones all became one tremendous and immense White Light which converged into the center of this abode above my head and spoke. “This is not your time. You’re not supposed to be here.” At that point the Light sent me back.
I slammed back into my body and bounced up what seemed a foot off of the futon and landed back down with a thud. My body was frozen. I could not move my limbs for several minutes as I felt my life force coming back into my body. My body was ice cold. My frozen body wet the bed some time before. It was 71 degrees in this room. I realized, my God, I was dead. I slowly sat up and was able to walk to the restroom, change my clothes and clean myself up. I realized what had just happened, though my brain was still foggy from the drink. Being dead for what felt like two hours made for a far worse hangover than I’d ever experienced. I was still very cold and slow to move despite the relatively warm room.
I sat at the edge of the futon and recalled in perfect memory the experience. At that point, I dropped to my knees and wept. I cried out loud, “God, please help me. I will be a messenger for you, but I do not know what to do. Please give me a purpose and I will do whatever you ask of me.” As the tears streamed, I’d never really spoken directly to God before—not like this. Having experienced that Light, I now knew it to be real. I could not live in this world anymore without a purpose. I wept some more. I stayed alone for a couple days. I did not answer the phone and felt a loneliness like I’d never felt before. A little ashamed and surprised that my life was spared and a fool’s sense of elation that I’d been returned by my Creator and given a second chance at life.
After a couple days, I ventured out. I wondered to myself, did anyone know what had happened to me? Should I tell anyone? I found myself walking into a used bookstore in Salem, MO. ‘Plenty of Pages Bookstore LLC.’ There on a bottom shelf by my foot was a book. “The Secret of Light” by Walter Russell. The price tag - $2.00. I opened the cover and read the inscription. “To James E . Frick: In the Secret of Light - is the secret of Creation itself. May this Divine Message of Light bring great ecstasy to your heart and soul.” Sincerely, Lao Russell - Oct. 1 - 77.
Though I would not begin reading the book until November 1st, 2008, over the next two years I dined heavily on reading—devouring book after book. Books on spirituality were my reader’s choice now. Yet, with each book I read, I could not produce any meaningful answers to my pressing questions. Who am I? What is the purpose of man, of life? Why am I here? Where are we going? Merton, Yogananda, McKenna, Bible, Egyptian Book of the Dead, Tibetan Book of the Dead, Urantia, and many many more. The more I read, the more I felt disillusioned by all the wordiness, the complexity of it all. If there is an answer, then it must be simple I kept thinking to myself. The totality of life and the current explanations were all so utterly complex, that it totally turned me off. I was reaching the end of my rope in my search for these answers. I began to think there were no answers.
On a cold night, November, 1st, 2008, I was preparing to head to Lori’s for dinner. I’d taken a few days off from reading. As I was about to head out the door, I thought to myself, “pick out a book.” I ran my finger across the top shelf of books and stopped at “The Secret of Light.” I finished the book on November 19th, 2008 - just under three weeks. I had one after another after another flashes of Light go off in my head. Some pages I had to reread three times as the ecstasy overcame me. I was literally reading the answers to my questions. I was in bliss.
I finished the book and closed it. Lori then asked “how was it?” I answered, “I never need to read another book as long as I live.” Of course, I went on to read every book they’d ever written. I couldn’t get enough. I devoured one after the next after the next. During this time, I realized no one even knew who Walter Russell was. There were only a small handful of websites that even mentioned him. ”How was this possible?” I thought to myself. “Somebody needs to get the story of this man out to the world.” That became my purpose.
This may seem like a profound book review, and you may take it as such. Perhaps, there is a book you may have read that caused a similar experience? If so, please share it in the comments. When people ask me which book by Walter Russell should they read first, I suggest “The Secret of Light.” There are many great books to choose from.
Some time later, on a cold morning in February of 2010, I was sitting on the couch reading and suddenly entered into a minor illumination—the Light overtook me. It surrounded me and centered me, and was in and through everything in the room, through the walls, through nature, the land and forests around our home. I came face to face with the Light that had sent me back—only this time I was not dead. I knew it to be a part of me and I a part of it. It never left you see. “It is time you know,” it told me. “Behold the prime actuality. Behold the glorious truth.” Lori asked if I needed to go to the hospital. I said no and sat in an inward gaze at the most heavenly splendor a soul could acquire. I wrote and wrote and though I slept did not sleep. Friends said light was coming off of me. I made them laugh like they’d never laughed before. One said, “I feel like I am on mushrooms” yet we were all sober. For three days, I was in such a state. I would never be the same again. I knew what sin was, what evil was—a choice I could no longer choose and how it is man-made and NOT of nature. I knew every decision in my life that made me hurt, that hurt others. My whole life and everything I had ever done was caused by my own freewill and the choices I had made. I knew my own immortality and the unreality of death. My fears ended in what can only be described as a spiritual firing squad. My heart turned inside out and opened around the whole earth. I could feel the planets and moons, the stars and the solar winds—the currents beneath the ground and the electricity in the elements, and that space was not empty but the adobe of the God mind. The un-reality of all falsehoods I apprehended. My fate, the future and the solutions all came at once. My consciousness became aware of itself as the source of myself and everything else being powered by this great and mighty consciousness as well. It powers ALL bodies but was something much greater. I was given but a drop of it. That was all I could handle lest my body burst into flames. Everything changed during those days. I was commanded by the Light to share this ‘new’ vision through a podcast - ‘The Exploration of Consciousness.’ The rest as they say, is history.
I offer you this thought of comfort. No matter how deep you descend into hell, know you are never truly alone. God does not disconnect from you no matter how much you may think you are disconnected. Even in death, you’re still connected. Consciousness does not die. It is in all the places you believe to be empty spaces. And it is glorious to behold and know that you are part of it—each and every one of us. [12/25/19]